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Kijavítanátok nekem, kérlek?

Figyelt kérdés
On weekdays, I wake up at six o'clock and get up a few minutes later. I make my bed then get dressed and I wash my face, clean my teeth and iron my hair. In the mornings I go to learn if I have more homework. After learning X, Y and I go to dining room and we have breakfast at 7 o'clock. After breakfast I usually go to my room and I get my things ready for school. Before school I talk a bit with my roommates. Usually I leave for a school at a quarter to eight and I have six or seven lessons a day, so I go to dorm at half past one or two o'clock. I often have lunch with my classmates in the dorm, then I speak with my governesses about the school. Before the study room I sometimes go shopping with XY or my roommates. The study room always starts at 4 o'clock and it finishes at 7 o'clock. We often have dinner at 6 o'clock. After study room I and my roommates often go out and we buy something food if the dinner was unacceptable. It's a common situation. We have to go back to the dorm at half past eight. Usually I and XY watch TV from half past eight to ten o'clock. At ten o'clock we go to the bathroom and we have shower and clean our teeth. We usually go to bed at 11 o'clock and we speak with our governess to midnight. I fall asleep at one o'clock or half past one, so I'm very tired in the mornings. On Friday I always leave the dorm at 14 o'clock and I go to bus and I travel to Aprajafalva. The journey is 2 hours. Usually I'm at home at half past four. At home I hug my family and we have late lunch. After lunch I sometimes meet with my friends and we go to the cinema or we only go for a walk. I often go to home at nine o'clock. In the evenings I watch TV with my junger brother or I play computer games. On Saturday mornings I do my homework and I do a bit of housework. In the afternoon I go to my best friend and I often sleep at her place. On Sunday my bus always starts at ten past seventeen and I go again to Kukutyin. I usually leave to the dorm at half past seven. Then I make the bed and I usually go to sleep at ten o'clock and on Monday everything again starts.

2013. nov. 9. 13:52
 1/2 anonim ***** válasza:

Világos és érthető, ötös:)


Néhány apróság ami szemet szúrt:

Formázd bekezdésekre, a legtöbb feladatnál követelmény.

Az elején még figyeltél arra hogy "sy and I", de került bele néhány megfordítva.

Amikor a második mondatrészben továbbra is rólad van szó, elhagyható az "I". Pl: "On Friday I always leave the dorm at 14 o'clock,go to bus and travel to Aprajafalva."

"we buy some food" vagy "we buy sg to eat"

"junger" -> "younger":)

"everything starts again"

2013. nov. 9. 14:58
Hasznos számodra ez a válasz?
 2/2 A kérdező kommentje:
nagyon szépen köszönöm!:)
2013. nov. 9. 15:00

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