Keresem Szabó Lörinc Ébredés Különbéke (1935) címü versének angol fordítását. Hold találhatnék rá?

Szabó Lőrinc: Különbéke - Private Truce

If I had always known what I’ve learnt

over the years,

if I had always known that life was

squalor and tears,

I wouldn’t be whistling now in the street,

walking so tall,

I would have surely hanged myself, to

finish it all.

With most other prodigal dreamers

I once believed

that the world and the human species

could be reprieved,

I thought that by force or by saying

a gentle word

many of us working together

could change the world.

Everything is much ghastlier than

I’ve thought before

but, thank God, I am not so squeamish,

not anymore,

I can face life’s abominations

with open eyes,

that time and apathy succeeded

to immunize.

I’ve seen through all the old disguises,

those flimsy veils,

at thirty three I cannot be fooled

by fairy tales:

I see now, life is much nastier

than I had guessed

when as a young man I was about

to leave the nest,

I see the suckers being cheated

day after day,

poor sucker can’t help being a sucker,

try as he may,

I see how reason becomes the whore

of interest,

how villains dress up as Galahads

on holy quest,

I see the noblest causes soiled by

the too-many,

I see that only death can bring us

true harmony, -

and since this isn’t a fact to despise

or to deplore,

and since the seed of all human things

is bloody war:

I look at life, with calm resolve

and patience steeled,

as a doomed leper colony, or

a battlefield.

If I had learned about these perils

all at a blow,

I would have certainly hanged myself,

some time ago.

But fate must have planned a part, it seems,

for me to play:

it taught me everything, but slowly,

the gentle way:

this is why I signed a one-man truce,

a private one,

and this is why I do dutifully

what must be done,

this is why I think there are moments

worth living for,

this is why I am writing poems,

in time of war,

so I whistle among the lepers,

and smile inside,

and I am growing very fond of

the simple child.