Helyes a lenti angol levél? Mi a hiba benne? Hány pont lenne kb. a 11-ből?

Dear XY,

I have just read your advertisement on the Internet and I am very interested in applying for a job.

First of all, I am 18 years old student and this is my last year at school. Later, I would like to go to England because I have to improve my English. I love children so much moreover I am so reliable and honest. I have got 1 years old sister so I know a lot of about babys.

Secondly, I would like to find out more information about this job. The first is, where can I live if I go there? You provide me an accommondation? Besides, how many times have to work in one week? When I have spare time? And what about the wage?

Thanking in advance for your time and answer.

With thanks,

XY