Van benne hiba? (angol)

Ha nem haragszol, itt-ott kicsit átrendeztem és át is fogalmaztam, de nem sok hiba volt benne :) A vége kicsit zavaros, ez egy jelentkezés valamilyen iskolába? Azért szeretnéd azt az iskolát választani, mert lenne lehetőséged spanyolul tanulni?

My name is ___ and I am ___ years old. I was born in Budapest on the sixth of July [írd ide az évet is], but now I live in ___. I go to ___ Primary/Elementary School. My favourite subject is English. There are four members in family, my younger sister, my mother, my father and me. My sister is 4 years younger than me, her name is Orsi. I like playing in the garden [itt mit szerettél volna kifejezni? Orsival szeretsz játszani? akkor "with her"]. My mother is ___ years old and she is an administrator. Her name is ___. My father is ___ years old and he has his own company. His name is ___. I have five dogs, I like playing in the garden with them. In my free/spare time I like reading, listening to music, cooking, swimming, watching TV and meeting my friends. My favourite music genre is rock. Summer is my favourite season. We travel a lot with my parents. I visited London once. It is a very beautiful place, though the weather is rainy and cloudy. [*] I would like to learn Spanish, because I think it is a beautiful language. I would like to come to this school because I would have the chance to learn Spanish.

* Nem értem, hogy a "the London-Eye for command a fine view" a mondattal mit szerettél volna kifejezni, így semmiképpen nem jó.